Lessons Learnt

1. Try to resolve doubts and questions yourself first. In most cases you already know the answer.

2. Best ideas come from fundamental questions, and not from applications.

3. Brain works with full efficiency when it's fresh and when thoughts are penned down.

4. Quality of work is more important than the quantity.

5. Mechanics first, details later.

6. Read ! Read ! Read !

7. Implement.

8. Faintest doubts can disrupt any base of understanding. Clear them all.

9. Never force a solution on a problem without exploring alternatives.

10. Solutions which "surprisingly" work are most likely to be wrong.

Milestones

Scribbling in this digital diary after a long time. The 100th ton was yet again snatched away from the little master today. A bit more wait for this(probably) never again to be trespassed feat. Wonder if milestones should be so keenly expected (at least from ourselves), or just accepted as they come by?

The later may seem reasonable and rather cushioning at first read. One is bent to be cautious about self and not perform as usual with feats at the back of the head. In contrast, unless we push ourselves with expectations, we won't achieve by just sitting and saying to self "yeah, I'll just wait and milestones will follow". Probably they won't. I think it's a perfect blend of expectations, ambitions and clearing head of self awareness which marks the trademark recipe of success.

What US taught me

It’s been quite an experience in the US. When I came here, I was fresh out of undergraduate school. Two years back, I vividly remember the confusion in mind. When you get an offer letter for a job for the first time in life, it seems to be the best achievement. Turning that offer down and instead going ahead to study during the looming times of recession was quite a decision to make for the several others freshly graduated just like me. Forums on the internet were full of debates whether to take up education at this point in the US or to have some job in hand and play it safe. Today, I feel happy to have made a decision to come here. And the reason is far from just academic.

Many people have asked me, “Is MS worth all the expense?” I have no good answer for this question. It all depends on what you expect from it. Everyone has different goals and what’s diamond for one might look like a coal to other. For me, it was worth both the time and effort spent in these two years. I learnt about things I had never heard about. And it may be that someone knowledgeable might have known it all before taking up the course. I am not among those people who can claim they learnt very little in MS because quite honestly, I had far limited knowledge of any specific course in my domain. If anything, I feel sorry for those who couldn’t learn much, either because they already knew stuff or because they took too easy classes to boost their grades. In the later case, I believe they shouldn’t complain about not learning much. Having said that, after the horrible nightmarish first semester, I understood not to be overambitious either! I had taken the most difficult courses, which combined with the first ever part time job experience, was near choking, with things like ‘two tough exams on a single day’ or ‘submission of two projects in two days’ quite common. And I was struggling to cope up. Experiences like these are really good, but I hope I don't get one of those again ;)

I do not know how true of a claim it will be if I suggest that the educational system here is far better than that in India. And no, this is not driven by the usual prejudiced negative remarks about the education system in India; this is driven by my own experience. I don’t know about others, but my own way of thinking has changed quite a bit during these two years. And I refer to thinking in general, not from just academic problem solving point of view.

I had heard more negative than positive remarks about the culture here. After staying two years here, I’m glad the equation has flipped, at least in my mind. One cannot make statements about any culture without experiencing it and understanding it. I found it very weird when I just landed here to get a casual “hi” from a stranger walking across the street. There are some things which you have to experience to reason them out. Understanding culture is one of them. “So…” I curiously asked to my American co-worker at my on campus part time job. “I heard a lot of parents kick out their kids at small age, is that really true?” He thought for a bit and replied, “About five percent of the families do that.” I was really surprised. That guy has paid for both his daughters’ education. “It’s all worth it when you look at them standing with the graduation cap.” It was good enough to silence my doubts.

Thinking about the part time job always brings a chuckle. Back in India, I wouldn’t have imagined working as a cleaner at some dorm. Here, I was forced to give up the discrimination of work. All work is treated with almost equal respect here. I vividly remember the first day at work- ever. Here I was, with a broom in one hand and the dust pan in other, waiting for my supervisor to give instructions. One cannot escape the thought at this point of having turned down a rather comfortable job in India and having signed up for something like this. I had heard a lot about how the managers at on campus jobs are strict and how students are exploited. So I was a bit paranoid about it. But when I talked to Michelle, my supervisor and Lisa, my co-worker at work who trained me on the first day, I felt like I was talking to my friends. I could not help thinking of how disrespectfully most cleaners back home are treated. The people at Governors’ (the university residential hall where I still work) are the most amazing people you can find! I am dearly going to miss them.
Having said that, US is like any other place with respect to how people are. Some are good, some are not so good. I know many of my friends here who have had horrible experiences with their managers at their part time work. You cannot judge a nation based on the small sample of people you meet, but in my experience, I met more good people than of the other kind. And the Jerry Springer show kind of people, well I am happy not to have met any of them.

Even with the much better system, and friendly attitude of people here, something always seems missing. It feels like a flavor rich American delicacy, but with lack of spice in it. No old friends, no roadside chat with a ‘chaat’, no roaming on the roads, and no sitting on the bench by the road side with friends talking the most non-sense things ever.

And as I approach the last week of my masters, I can’t wait to go back home.

Chasing your dreams

Life is ever changing. You make all the plans you want, but there will always be loopholes in them that life exploits. There are so many possible situations that you can't possibly plan each case to perfection. And this is where the unpredictability of life comes in. Well, if everything was predictable life would be boring.

Having said that, one can't really be too excited when plans go wrong- especially when they relate to your ambitions. Until recently I used to think (quite illogically) that people never get something when they get too excited about it. To put it in other words, things which they crave for the most are quite unreachable. But giving it more thought, it seems that people remember only those things which they wanted badly and didn't achieve it. There are so many rejections which we get in daily life and we hardly remember most of them. Why? Because we were not very excited about them in first place!

It pretty much is a challenge to chase our ambitions. How many people do we know who are actually pursuing what they really want to do? How many people do we hear daily telling us "Oh I actually wanted to be X, but now I got into Y. Life is all about compromises."

There is no universe conspiring for or against you. Its just you and the infinite situations that can happen with you. Some plans will work, others wont. One can't plan for all possible cases. And it is these very loopholes, which we call problems that we fall into and give up. Then we compromise and accept whatever comes our way.

Life is not a compromise, its just a measure of how far we are willing to go to achieve what we really want from it.

Glory.

It’s one of those days when you cannot think of anything else but victory. Indian cricket fans of around my age have been waiting all their lives for this one moment – when India lifted the World Cup. And more than anyone else, the little master has been in patient hunt of the most valued prize in world cricket. Years of thirst for holding the cup that matters was finally quenched yesterday, and now he can proudly set out for his final stage of a career that most probably would never be matched. Talk about greed, fans want more! We all are waiting for just one more feat from the master- the 100th hundred. And that day, Sachin fans throughout the world will experience “Moksha”.

I have no doubt that Indian cricket lovers over the world wished they could be in India for celebrating this indeed special moment which will be etched in sports history. I miss the fireworks and the massive celebrations back home. But it gives sweet joy and misty eyes when I see the numerous videos of celebration. No other religion than cricket itself can unite over a billion people, celebrating their nation’s triumph on the greatest stage of their most beloved sport. It was great to see Indians all over the world exchanging pride and joy. Undoubtedly, this will stay with us for a very very long time.

A slight thought passes through the mind though. They have done their jobs, but have we done ours?

The war for freedom

This year clearly stands out as the year of modern freedom struggles. It all started with the Tunisian revolution in December last year, which provided the spark to Egyptian protests. The success was an inspiration to other countries denied of democracy, even as we witness the uprising in Libya as I write this. One can imagine the extreme hunger for power of the dictators when they don’t budge to international political pressure, even knowing the outcome.

We have the privilege of being born in a “free” country. On paper, India is free and the largest democracy. But how much of that is true in reality? The recent Wiki-leaks article gave one more reason for Indians to be ashamed of their “leaders”. It’s an established empirical fact that an average Indian takes freedom for granted, but it’s an even greater truth that Indians are showed the rosy picture of democracy when the reality is harsh. When votes themselves go for sale, the entire system of democracy is a big failure. How many of us really think that they have a say in the government? And that their views and opinions are well “represented” in the parliament by some minister?

We say “there is no other country which allows you greater freedom than India. You can do anything you want”. Is that really what freedom is? As far as free will is concerned, it might be true. It’s not clear though if it’s really “freedom” or just lack of imposing laws which gives us the freedom of doing “ANYTHING”. Will you call carelessly throwing garbage on roads as freedom or as lack of imposing rules? Will you call driving by wrong side of road as freedom? Even worse, what about being politically free? We are heavily influenced by government policies at each and every stage of life, and most of this goes in background without making any noise or concern. Even after knowing the evil plans of politicians, we continue to largely ignore the issue saying “we cannot do anything about it”. And the reason is valid, because most of the people who are in Indian politics at present don’t mind getting their hands dirty. Obviously India is hugely capable of producing gems of politicians and it is well known that they refrain from joining politics because they do not want to get involved in the "dirty business". Is this freedom? When you live in awe of joining politics, the very basis of a country, how can one claim to be in a free country? When we allow a bunch of dictators to "govern" in the political system, how can we call ourselves democratic?

The true freedom movement is hugely due in India. And with time the revolution will well explode, all it needs is a little spark.

Explaining colors to the blind

I come across this apparently absurd phrase often. The first time I heard about this was during my undergraduate days at Sinhgad College of Engineering, Pune. Well, there was this funny "Mr. and Mrs. Sinhgad" competition where the judges asked questions to the contenders in one of the rounds. And one of the questions which was asked to a guy was "how will you describe a rainbow to a blind person?" . The question immediately appealed to me and I lost myself into thoughts. I thought of the obvious answers- about describing the colors by relating to nature, but could not find a satisfactory answer. Today I joined Twitter(out of boredom) and accidentally came across page of Kate Moss. She had tweeted "Trying to explain why I love you is like explaining colors to a blind person." Immediately I lost myself into thoughts, just like before.

What if the person is blind since birth? Imagine you have never seen colors- ever. Forget colors, you haven't seen anything. Is it possible to make a imagery so strong that you can draw colorful paintings in a blind person's brain by just making him hear the words? Probably not. But here is my attempt to do so, just for silencing this old thought at the back of my mind:

Red- The boldest and hottest of all. You feel it when you stand under the scorching sun. You feel it when you are with your love. You feel it when your hand feels the beat of your heart. You feel it when you are tensed.

Blue- The coolest of all. You feel it with the breeze and when you breathe. You feel it when you dip your hands in the cold river and wash your face with it. You feel it when you drink water. The color which refreshes you and makes you feel alive.

Green- The most soothing one. You feel it when you smell grass or perhaps flowers. You feel it when you run your hands through the velvet like farms. It is the color which calms your nerves and which makes you serene. Contradictory to Red, this one takes the pressure off.

The street

I remember(if I’m right)
men walked on that street
with head held high
And others-equally righteous,
used to nod and walk without fright

I remember once in awhile
the devils were disdained,
and treated befitting
And those who shammed morality
were put in the same pile

What change the “judiciary” brought
and took away that pride?
The honest disdained,
and the devils hailed
What unfair balance sought?

On the same street now
devils walk with pride
with a smile shunning the righteous
And the "guardian" devils eager
just to take a bow!

A conversation...

“How’s it going?”
“Let’s say I’m still alive. Ha!”
“You and your weird stunts… will you ever change?”
“I don’t think you can change a man’s persona, can you?”
“Err. True that.”
“You tell me, rules keeping you sane and normal?”
“Don’t grin like that you dog. I can read your sarcasm.”
“Ha! C’mon, can’t I ask a normal question now?”
“You will never change. By the way, I am good.”
“Good good.”
-A pause-
“So, how is your latest movie coming along? Hope it’s not as action packed as your last one. I mean you could have died! Oh wait, I know… we have to die someday blah!”
“Well said. Ha!”
“Man, don’t you worry about your family?”
“Well if I didn’t worry about them, I wouldn’t have done that stunt scene in last movie.”
“Wait, what do you mean?”
“Forget it.”
“Why? I thought we were...”
“…friends. Huh. You have to know everything don’t you.”
“Yes.”
“Hm. They offered a large sum for that scene. Don’t get mad now. Your face looks like a tomato!”
“You are the biggest ass I’ve known. Why didn’t you ask me if you needed money?”
“What’s the fun in that?”
“You are a jerk. You will risk your family for your own whims and fancies?”
“I like to keep my head up high.”
“So you feel if you ask me for money, your pride will be hurt?”
“C’mon! I thought you know me well!”
“I know. It’s just hard to fathom that you don’t want to cheat with what life has in store for you.”
“You got it right there bud. The real fun in life is to fight it out.”
“I like to be rather…”
“I know…safe and protected. What’s the fun in that?”
“Well, not everything in life is for fun…”
“Oh really? Then what is life for?”
“Don’t even get there. Those conversations are like a circle. You can go on and on and never reach the end, but you will find yourself where you started soon.”
“Doesn’t that happen with all conversations with no solid base of reasoning?”
“Perhaps. But the problem here is that we don’t really know anything. So we try to argue on our beliefs…”
“And beliefs we know, are ambiguous. “
“Right. So we don’t really know what is a fact is and what’s not.”
“Well. For me, I like to face the challenges of life without taking help. Because I feel I am meant to solve them myself. “
“That’s a bit too…”
“I know.”
-A pause-
“Well, I’ve been thinking. “
“Wow! You are?”
“Dog.”
“Okay go on.”
“I’ve been thinking whether I should propose Tanya.”
“Marriage. You already know my take on it.”
“I know. But unlike you, I don’t find it to be a chaos. My mind is not as disturbed as a crazy stuntman!”
“Hey! I’m not disturbed! Just look around and tell me how many…”
“Couples are happy and shit.”
“You are smart.”
“Don’t grin like that dog.”
“Ha!”
“I wonder why even we are friends. You are one weird stuntman. I’m just…”
“A normal boring guy? I know it’s difficult for me.”
“You ass.”
“Well, I guess understanding is much more important in friendship than agreeing on same things.”
“Finally ! I agree with you on something!”